nina-missmaker

пятница, 25 февраля 2011 г.

I know...

I know what means to become older. It means to become in some way forgotten by people who surround you. When they begin to think, that you are already responsible, can stay on your own for a long time without anyone's attention(of course I mean a long period of time, not like a couple of hours)- it's the first signal, that you are getting older. People begin to apply to you only on some business affair or just ask for some help. They can easily exchange you for their friends or smth more interesting and worthy. I am already experiencing all these attitudes towards me now. I have no real friend, really. I try to be kind and interesting to people, but God, why, oh why do I have no friend? I am a tedious, very modest and discreet person. People seem not to like such people as I am.
Maybe it's good, that I have no real friend, just mates? But you know, I usually remind me myself as an old lady, who is already a pensioner and has already run through her life. Well... That's in fact the problem that can't be solved. But I want to have fun sometimes, somewhere outside... That's impossible...For such people as I am.

Big girls don't cry!

Why, or why I want to cry in most cases? I seem to be a small girl...Just tired of occupying this position between teenaging and adulting.

Luckily I am recovering. I have missed two days at the university and one way of tutoring my pupil, but that's ok, I will catch up with the rest of my group and we shall work hard with my pupil. Now I am eager to do all my home tasks and then watch one of my most favorite films "Dirty dancing". Especially I like the second part about Havana's nights. The main character bears some resemblance to myself.
Well, I adore dirty dancing, really! That's so...hot! I used to attend classes of Latin dancing for a few months last spring and my coach told me that I have already reached the level of a professional. I couldn't even imagine, that I can move my hips so hot, because all those movements are banned in ballet. Though I gave up these classes I hope I will take them up soon again, maybe in a week or so, because I need smth to splash out my energy. This variant suits me perfectly! Besides, I will improve my figure=)

Adore Patrick Swayze in this movie! He is super hot!


One of my favorite moments. dunno why, just like it.

вторник, 22 февраля 2011 г.

Getting ill.

It's going to be spring in a week, but it is still too frosty to think about wearing lighter clothes and walking on the snowfree asphalt. The temperature is -17 C? but you feel like it is -25C. As a result you cannot help catching cold. I fell cold even wearing uggs, that I have always considered ugly, but extremely useful and comfortable, especially after attending the skating rink.

Anyway I am getting ill now... I am getting lazy, because I have no strength, my mood is not really good, I have a running nose and a sore throat to boot. To be honest, all I want is a glass of mulled wine and some pancakes with cottage cheese and honey. Oh, yes, that's the very medicine I need. It would be perfect if someone cooks that all for me while I am staying in bed and watching some comedies.

Besides, it's going to be a famous holiday soon. I am afraid, that there is no equivalent to the name of this holiday, but still the fact, that we say "good bye" to winter, meet spring and cook extremely tasty pancakes can help all of you understand what a holiday we are going to have soon.

среда, 16 февраля 2011 г.

Боже, как больно плакать!

Я только что пустила наичистейшую слезу... Все клеточки моего тела прочувствовли ее: ступни, затем коленки, бедра, что-то защекотало под подмышками... Затем последовал наиболее искренний момент - было чувство, что у меня вот-вот заберут голос, навсегда, как у русалочки Ариэль из диснеевского мультика...уголки губ мимовольно начали опускаться...легкое покалывание в носу...и вот она-моя жизнь-любовь, одиночество, тоска, ненависть, отчаяние, надежда, разочарование, бессилие, безразличие... Да, все это заняло у меня не больше 30 секунд, я в этом уверенна... Боже, как больно... Хотелось умереть по-настоящему, а если и не умереть, то хотя-бы закрыться дома у себя в комнате, выходить на улицу лишь чтобы сходить на учебу да в библиотеку...Я не стану просто так светиться на улице, чтобы не дай Бог кто увидел это напрасно на что-то хорошее надеющееся и мечтающее лицо, чьи глаза на грани "протечки"...ужасную поставу, эти волосы...это невыносимо доставшие меня тряпки, которые приходится натягивать на себя, когда идешь куда-то. Мало того, что большинство из них мне не нравится, так мне еще ничего и не идет...А кого это волнует? А никого!!! Просто отварачиваются от тебя, потому что людям как минимум неприятна оболочка, а уж о внутренних качествах и о моих умениях вообще не стоит и задумываться...

Вот в такой вот момент я и поняла, насколько я ужасна... Я себя все чаще ненавижу правда, я ужасная тагость! (далее я писать не стану, ибо боюсь, что вы испугаетесь и сочтете меня сумасшедшей, а вот поездка в дурку в мои планы не вписывается-мне ж нужно в универ ходить.)